Deserving Compassion

Once in awhile I wonder whether suffering is a competitive sport. I will hear a speaker trying to convince listeners that their life is the toughest, as though it invalidates the suffering of anyone else. Too often I have heard that someone does not deserve compassion. I have a friend who is in her mid-eighties and has problems with her esophagus, and people have actually said that she does not deserve compassion because she was bulimic when she was younger. After Hurricane Katrina I heard people say that the survivors didn’t deserve sympathy because they should have known better than to live in an area prone to floods. When there were some catastrophes in other countries, I was told that it was inappropriate to pray for the people because the United States has problems of its own.

Of course, the reverse is also true. We can feel burnt out by all the suffering in the world. We can also downplay our own suffering or feel undeserving of compassion because other people have it worse than we do.

Metta, a Buddhist prayer that invokes loving-kindness, is a way of addressing the fact that we all suffer and we all deserve compassion. Many people incorporate it into their daily lives. Some people use it when they are going through a difficult time. Many books and Internet sites contain the full-length version, which will differ slightly from source to source. I encourage you to read more if you are interested. A short version of Metta can be used as a quick prayer when we encounter suffering. I like the idea of also offering compassion to ourselves while we are offering compassion to others. The version below is taken from The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, an excellent book by Christopher K. Germer, PhD.

May we be safe.

May we be happy.

May we be healthy.

May we live with ease.